Friday, February 19, 2010
She told me I love boy/girl poems, love
scenes in them based on a deep degeneracy
inherited from too much heat around my
genitals, as manifest in tangents I could only
see if I was getting laid. She told me this as
I was getting laid in such a way that any notion
of telling was subsumed in an ass as stately as
a mansion, which I filled with the liquid
cobwebs of my imagination. There was grass
outside being smoked in a car in which another
boy/girl scenario played out in a brunette giving
a fine performance of Bolero in her movements,
and I immediately flashed back to the deep
genitals of my first girlfriend and the way she
used to implore God’s help at certain moments,
who was certainly watching this. That’s it, that’s
the whole spiel I have on boy/girl poems and
why they are hated by the dry dunces who love them.
A ring of retards, she said to herself,
a ring of retards. It was her turn to
speak, speak she did, but she watched
herself the whole time, thinking how
dumb the whole thing would look to
one of her old friends, in the days when
she (and they) ruled the world, because
the world was so tiny and they could
encompass it. She gets up to piss, and
notices nothing. She’s still gorgeous
and she knows it, that’s that. Yes, I
saw this happen, I was down there
with them. But then, you don’t know
who I am, do you, and does it matter?
She was eating lunch, I was watching her eat
lunch, I started having all these thoughts about
how people reveal themselves, even just how
they eat their meals but it was such a nice day
and I had a few drinks and I just kind of got
lost in it all, the food was really good but there
was this sense that nothing could really last,
everyone has these great cars and these great
lives but nothing really lasts, and I start to
worry even just about eating lunch like this,
isn’t there something better I should be doing?
Isn’t there something more important than
this? I don’t want to get all existential about
this cause it happens all the time, but I’m telling
you this cause I know you have these feelings
too, and it doesn’t matter how we communicate
as long as the basic gist of things comes through,
in fact I’m kind of eating lunch right now and
kind of having the same feelings, I get depressed
in the afternoons here because everything is so
still and perfect, so even though I have to live in
this perfected state (some people say it’s exalted,
I don’t think it’s exalted, I don’t even know what
exalted means) it just doesn’t work. I guess the
lesson is that we should all skip lunch, I know
it’s completely absurd but it might be better
just to eat breakfast and dinner, but you know,
people in this town have to do certain things
at certain times which is why I treasure this, but
hold on a sec I just got a text from somebody,
do you mind if I call you back, if not today
tomorrow, I really want to hear your thoughts on this?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
I'm still recovering from completing the manuscript Apparition Poems in a big burst. There are still many Apps that need to be published, and are looking for homes. I've decided to take a week's vacation from blogging. I thought as a "quick fix," I'd post two new Apps.
The father’s gaze (depending which gaze
you happen to be referring to) is panoptic.
It goes in without leaving traces. So if you
have several fathers who leave no traces, &
merely invisible gazes, there is or maybe a
sense in which you have no fathers. I saw
all this happening to me, along with every
thing else, many years ago, before I could
visualize the cell I was in, before I knew
how the walls stank of fresh paint, or saw
that I was getting smeared at any juncture.
But, as I saw this, my father who was my
father turned, spoke down to me in such
a way that I listened. I took what he said,
gazed at my cell, and watched the paint dry
deep into the night before I busted out to
watch the dawn break over the Delaware.
He says that these have an “aura.”
To the extent that words on a page
can, they do. He said these things,
but then they were up on a site that
has its own aura, the poems become
composites. Whatever, I thought this,
not out loud, these auras only work
in three dimensions, and I’m already
in three dimensions, I’m already art
to begin with. Besides, who cares? I
quickly made a left onto Broad, the
radio was turned off and I opened
the window, it was a cold, breezes
danced around my face, in words.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sunday, February 07, 2010
I was talking to a dude
I knew from school, I
said, “I see the levels
from sleeping with
how I get them,” levels
were (I meant) places
between souls where
spaces open for metaphor,
“but when I carry them
over to my bed, every
psychopath levels me.”
This killer wears a tight
black shirt, glasses. There
are noises of digging happening
from the bathroom, she’s in
bed, hands over her mouth,
frozen upset. Then, the mirror
is dug through, his face appears
in a wall with a square cut in it.
The face is there, hovers there,
just sits, it has the promise of
action that kills. This is the
tableau I watch every time
I’m in the bathroom while
she’s in bed. And smile.
I ask you this here, while I look down on you, as
you look up at me, and the different ups & downs
of us play themselves out, so that if, while being in
this state, we are in and out of each other, all streaks
of blues, grays, blacks can be edited out, and voice-
overs take the place of our raw voices. Voices that
I trust, cherish, but these voices are too crude that
around us cast nets, so that we become crabs in and
out of ourselves, so that I remark to you (you’re on
top now) that things that need to be asked can only
be answered with skin, redness, pinkness, dots, this.
If it builds, she thinks, I’ll
do this, I’ll get out. Is it that
she’s so stuck she can’t move?
The baby needs looking after,
but, she thinks, so does her
soul, and to the extent that it’s
not being fed, she needs a new
bed somewhere. But the money
isn’t hers, it just isn’t, and she
walks the dog thinking these
thoughts in loops. And this is
where I intercepted her, in this
alley, with the dog, with fallen
traces of one who falls. That I
didn’t acknowledge her speaks
to the places I’ve fallen as well.
There is also a set of Apparition Poems on PFS Post.
Friday, February 05, 2010
As a proud, magna cum laude graduate of the University of Pennsylvania, I am excited to hear that, as of the end of this year, Jacket and PennSound, perhaps the two dominant outlets for contemporary, international experimental poetry, are merging at Penn, specifically at the Kelly Writers House. It is a move that makes permanent the work of myself and the many poets who have contributed to these outlets, and consolidates these outlets in a way that will preserve all of our traces into the twenty-first century.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Is the twenty-first century waking up?
Is this Recession a blessing in disguise: is it effacing all the twentieth century traces which need to be destroyed?
Is this to be a better century for poetry than the twentieth, if we admit that much English language poetry of the twentieth century was degenerate?
What are the great narratives of the twenty-first century being born?
Why is the narrative impulse still so compelling?