Friday, March 03, 2006

"content with a new form?"

This new form may be useful or aesthetically valid; as with the Beam form, I can't say; but it is new. The poem works like this: two stanzas of ten lines each; moving from the middle lines (final line of stanza one, first line of stanza two) & moving up for stanza one, down for stanza two, the poem is a kind of mirror- the lines "answer each other", with slight variations & refinements. Here's the poem in question, "hair":

"we" were in english class, next to being next to
each other.
a matter of adding a porch or rolling in mud.
she said to me: "you're caring"
sounded to me like: "you're a fairy"
the hair became a kind of relic, the way
a once-used metaphor might (in its' "it")
leaving high school was a "volta" i'm still
combing out.
combing out with meredith's mud-brown hair.

combing out with meredith's mud-blown hair.
combing out.
leaving "leaving high school", another "volta"
now, becoming a once-used metaphor (out & "out")
that way is a hair-relic, "me" a heretic; her tic
sounds to me like: "you're a weirdo"
she said to me: "you're a weirdo"
a matter of adding peach or rolling in hay
with each other.
"we're" in a separate class, "late for the next one".

What could we call this? I'm at a loss. Should I start a series of these?

3 comments:

Lars Palm said...

i have seen one poem like this before, though i'm not sure if the stanzas were maybe twelve lines or so. the poet who wrote it is colette bryce, in her first small collection "the heel of bernadette". it's validity would depend on what it's used for, right? as for a name; mirror. although we could probably come up with something better than that, in time

Scott Glassman said...

Adam,

Seems like a variation on the sestina, no? Using the idea of patterned line repetitions instead of end-word repetition as we find in the sestina's 1-2-3-4-5-6, 6-1-5-2-4-3, 3-6-4-1-2-5 form

given, you're using more than just end-words and your repetition sequence is different, but it would appear "genetically" related to the seed concept a sestina draws from.

Scott

Scott Glassman said...

p.s.-- i took a look at eratio, and i love the journal. couldn't resist but send some stuff their way

 

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